Tuesday, February 3, 2009

What is the Multiverse?

What is the multiverse? Since I named my blog after it I feel it deserves a post. The multiverse is a hypothetical set of multiple universes including our own. That together comprises all of reality. The different universes within the universes are sometimes known as parallel worlds.

This may sound something straight out of science fiction, well in fact it is countless of science fiction book, movies and television have used the theme of parallel worlds. But before it was used in science fiction it was a scientific theory.

To put this in prospective we once believed the earth was flat, we once believed the earth was the center of the universe, so why not more universes?

It has only been in the last five years or so that this science fiction has turned into science theory. There has been discovers in space such as the WMAP cold spot. The WMAP is a region of the sky seen in microwaves which is unusually large and cold relative to the expected properties of the cosmic microwave background radiation or CMB. The theory is that this spot could be an imprint of another universe. Many leading physicist do believe in the multiverse although they differ on what exactly is the multiverse.

One theory of the multiverse is called a level I multiverse. It is an open multiverse it is infinite in size all of the universes are connected together, there is no begging or end to this multiverse. In this multiverse that is infinite universes would eventually start repeating witch means our universe, galaxy, solar system, and earth would repeat an infinite number of times. So with this we would exist in an infinite number of universes. In these universes we would be doing all kinds of different things, but in some we will be doing the same thing as we are doing in this universe an exact copy, and in other universe that are like ours we would not exist at all.

One theory that I find fascinating is the black hole theory. When a black hole sucks in all kind of matter from planets to suns to countless galaxies no one is sure were all this matter goes. The theory is the matter comes out of a white hole in a different dimension the multiverse and this massive explosion creates a new universe; also know as the big bang theory.

Yet another theory is the bubble theory. In this theory the multiverse is in a different dimension where all the universes are floating around like soap bubbles and when these bubbles (universes) collide with each other they create a new universe.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Minnesota winter

If you have never experienced a Minnesota winter first off be thankful, second it can last for as long as six months. This past week has been a brutally cold it was an entire week of sub zero temps. On the coldest day we reached -30 bellow zero and the high was a balmy -4 bellow, this was the actual temperature the wind chill was about -60 bellow zero.

If you have never experienced this type of weather conditions the best way that I can explain it is hurts. It hurts to breath you know its cold in Minnesota when your lungs hurt from breathing in the cold air, every breath you take. It’s the kind of weather where your noise hairs freeze.

Not only is it the cold but is the never ending snow. It seems this winter it has snowed almost every day I’m so sick of the snow and the cold. I’m just so sick of this winter. I honestly can’t remember the last time I saw the sunshine, maybe mid-December.

Maybe the saddest thing is when I heard that it was going to get to 9 above zero I got excited, and when it did get that warm I felt that it was warm.

This week it’s supposable in the 30 and 20. Time to break out the shorts.

Sunday, January 11, 2009


Who are you? You are the sum of the experiences you have had in your life. All are a complete sum of things you have experienced this far in life. The person you were yesterday is not the person who you are today and who you are today is not who you will be tomorrow. You will still be to the naked eye the same person but we slowly evolve moment by moment experience to experience we encounter no mater how small or large we change. Your core self will always be there but slowly we changing. We don’t even notice not until we step back and take a good long look at our self and compare where we were at a point of time in our past, a time in refection to see the progress.

Where am I going with this? Well this is more a look back at myself and how much I have changed in the last couple of years, and how this came to be. The person I am today is in no way that I was back then. My personality is so different that when I look back two years ago. The past two years have been the biggest jump from one personality to another I have ever had. I just wanted to see how I got to this place I am at today.

I was ending a five year relationship (the longest I had ever been in) at the same time I got diagnosed with cancer. We were still living together witch made things much worse. The worst thing is she made me feel guilty about having cancer. She told me I wanted everybody to be as miserable as I was. This was the furthest thing from the truth. But she beat that into my head that I should feel guilty about having cancer and I did, I felt enormous guilt about it how it effected everyone else. So I didn’t talk about much or ask for help when I should have, I decided to do this thing on my own.

Looking back on the person I was two years ago I don’t like what I see. This goes back further than before I got cancer. I felt soulless I just felt as if I was an empty shell of my former self, a person that had stop living. I had lost the lust for life. I hated life, I hated my own life I was sick of my own meager existence.

For the first time in my life I found myself alone, I then isolated myself from the rest of the world as I was rapidly spiraling further down into my depression. I lived in isolation for about three months. I came to grips of my cancer I accepted the fact that I could die, and I guess a part of me wanted to die.

In retrospect I needed this isolation. This solitude made me better for the first time in along time I started to think about things life, death, and the universe. I’m not sure what it was maybe my mind just snaped but I pulled myself out of my own depression. I started to examine life asking myself the tough questions and looking for the answers. I started to read, write and think. I started to evolve into something new.

I was no longer living a isolated life. I started to live life again, I started to live a better life. The person I am today is not the person I was back then that person did die just not in the way he thought he would die. He has just faded away into myself conscious as a constant reminder to keep moving forward. And to keep evolving.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Communication of Perceptions

When an individual enters into a room, or any particular "environment" for that matter, they notice certain objects (or the existence of those objects) as being more prominent than others. Certain factors affect what existence stands out to a particular person at a particular moment in time. For example, when you walk into your room in search of your keys, your perceptions are heightened to all things shiny and silver (if those happen to be the particular attributes you know your keys to have). As a result, all other existence in the room becomes what I like to term "background." The books and clothes lying on the floor are of little importance to you at that moment, so you barely notice them, if at all. However, if another individual (not in search of keys) enters into the room, they will see the room completely differently than you as their senses will be heightened to pick up on other things. What you perceive at any given moment in time is caused by a mixture of thoughts, genetics and past experience. Based on the simple idea discussed above, it can be concluded that no two people ever perceive their environments in the same way, as we are constantly alert to different forms of existence. Because of this, language becomes a great barrier as suddenly the "same" sounds we use with one another no longer correlate with the same perceptions. When I speak of my room, a different vision arises in my mind than it does in yours. That vision is also affected with time even though I would still call it "my room." Even if you and I are both in my "room" we are likely seeing things differently, as different existence is standing out. We may both call it by the term "room" and that term certainly connects back to the same OBJECTIVE thing, but subjectively speaking there is no proof that it is the same thing. When we communicate, we do so at an incredibly fast rate, that there is not time to clarify every word, and even if there was, that could never be attainable. If one tried to clarify to another person who was genuinely interested in seeing the world through their eyes, what a certain environment looked like to them at any given moment that person would do so with the only way they know how- with words. You could argue, well they could paint a picture of the room, but still the perception of that painting would be different among individuals, as once again different attributes would appear more distinct to one person than to another. I have just demonstrated how an environment termed by all English-speaking people will be communicated using the same word, but could mean different things to different people. This concept can be applied to all words though, not just words of environment. This is because every word has certain attributes, but any time you hear or see a word, you are not considering all those attributes and the attributes that make up those attributes and so on... Every form of existence around us possesses billions upon billions of attributes, and each of those attributes has the possibility of being perceived by one of our five senses. At any given moment in time, however, an individual is probably only [subconsciously aware of 2-5% of all the attributes that COULD possibly be perceived (let's not even get into whether there are others there that we CAN'T perceive). This may sound like a futile concept to discuss, but I feel that it's an important one. Any time you speak, your words carry different weight and meaning depending on the individual. Humans derive meaning from words largely due to past experiences and confrontations with words and their association with those experiences. For example, a young child living in Florida who has been confronted with only a couple photos of snow and has never seen it in real life will have a very different concept of the word snow than an adult who has grown up in Michigan. The child would likely view snow as something mystical and Christmassy, whereas the adult might associate it with a more negative connotation as they recall (and quickly, mind you) the horrid times of shoveling and scraping when they hear/see "snow." Now take this concept and take this very stupid blog that I have just written and think about how differently this blog must mean to you than to me. Each and every word potentially has a different meaning/connotation to you. Even though two people might string words together in a similar fashion, they could be the expression of two very different perceptions

Monday, December 15, 2008


I have chronic insomnia, I have suffered from insomnia on and off for about five years now. It initially started off with a couple of restless nights and having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. I would battle through it, and it would eventually pass. The last six months it has gotten much worse. It takes me quite a long time to fall asleep hours if at all. And when I do fall asleep I have a hard time sleeping very long from 20 minutes to 4 hours. Some days I don't sleep at all and sometimes it can last for a couple of days. If you have never experienced this let me tell it sucks. Feeling so tried but unable to sleep. Your body aches all over. (Witch is saying something considering my current medical condition.) You become unable to focus on anything for too long. Your mind starts to wonder. I tend to zone out from time to time I'm awake but nobody's home for a couple of minutes then I come back it's kind of like a short out of body experience. And work is quite difficult since most of what I do at work tends to be a physical job, and trying to stay focused just enough to get by. Sometimes I look like a walking zombie. Then when I'm not able to sleep for very long a period that's when your mind starts to plays tricks on your and alters your reality. I start to think I'm losing my fucking mind and from time to time I have hallucinations such as the Sun Maid raisin lady stalking me. At first she was sort of creepy, what with that big ass red hat of hers and her basket of grapes, but I have come to accept her and I realize she's just lonely and misunderstood. I have tried all sorts of thing medications, vitamins, meditation; I even quit caffeine for awhile. (That was a big mistake I just made things worse.) When I start a new medication or a sleep aid it does work for about a week or so but then nothing. I know that certain things contribute to my insomnia. I work over nights, my medication, my illness and my own damn mind. (I wish I could just shut off my mind but just won't relinquish.) I won't change my meds because it's what is keeping me alive, so if I have to choose between insomnia and death I'll take insomnia…I guess that's a fair trade off.

Saturday, December 13, 2008


I'm unsatisfied. I'm unsatisfied in life. I quote the replacements "look me in the eye then tell me that I'm satisfied. Everything goes well; anything goes all of the time. Everything that you dream of is right in front of you and everything is a lie. Look me in the eye and tell me that I'm satisfied. I'm so unsatisfied, I'm so dissatisfied." That sums up how I feel. Anyone that truly knows me and looks me in the eyes can't tell me that I'm satisfied. Why am I so unsatisfied? I'm not completely sure. I think that I'm unsatisfied in everything in life. I guess the real problem is I have no idea what I want out of life. I'm almost thirty years old and I'm as clueless as when I was eighteen. But yet again I think I might be even more confused now. At least when I was eighteen I felt that I had time to find out what I wanted out of life. Well ten years has passed and I thought by now I would know what it is that I want out of this life. It's not like I have not tried from college to a career, trying to start a family to absolute self obliteration. College just was not for me people telling me I had to pick what I wanted to be when I was nineteen….damn how was I to pick that out at that age? So I blindly picked out what I wanted to do end wasted thousands of dollars. Trying a career let me totally burned out. Self obliteration well I should be dead. And as for raising a family or at least attempting, I thought this was what I was to do with my life. But to be completely truthful, left me more miserable than I have ever been. Trying to live the American dream left me so disenchanted. But wasn't this what I was suppose to do? Aren't we taught that we all need to find love, get married and have children the white picket fence ect. So that is what I did even back then I knew it didn't feel right but I did it anyway, because I wanted to grow up. Settling for anything in life is never a good thing. I realize that now and I will never again settle for what I truly do not want just because it's what everyone says you should do. But it has become so clear to me that it does not make an adult it is something you grow into and you don't realize your adult in just something that creeps up on you. Teenage angst has turned into the working mans blues. The American dream does not meet my expatiations. So I abandoned it. The more I think about it, the more I realize at least for me it's not about finding out what I want in life it's what I don't want in life. Maybe someday I'll find what I am looking for maybe I missed it, maybe its right in front of me, or maybe it's already here. So I'm unsatisfied but I glad to be unsatisfied. This is what keeps me going. So I may have just found the answer to my own question. I will always be unsatisfied and why should I be happy with any thing less? I will search and be unsatisfied as long as blood runs through my veins

Monday, December 8, 2008

electronic reactions and manipulations of light

Life comes down to one thing really...and that is use. How did we use the time given? Did we squander it idly on a couch watching others live their lives through a series of electronic reactions and manipulations of light? Did we lose our connection to reality through the expertly woven sequence of similes and metaphors laced ever so delicately in tangles of nouns, adjectives, and verbs? Or did we explore the wild blue and green that paints this rock we call home, lost in an infinite universe of possibility and dream? I'd like to believe I've done the latter...that to date I've done everything I can to breathe every instant with intent and without regret. But I feel I would have to be a damn fool to make that claim...and most of the populace in this world...but a sparse few...could truthfully make that claim. A good number of us have given up on dreams for fear of rejection...that's always the justification...rejection is the source of all that prevents us from living our dreams...rejection of a lover, rejection of a friend, rejection of a boss or coworker, rejection of a social class, rejection of a family member...the list continues...our world breeds heroes and then consequently teaches the rest of society that we will never accomplish a similar status...magazines paint imagery that the majority will by no means be...music paints rock stars that are god like and are for worship ...movies paint dreams that could never be our own reality ...we live to be someone else...or at least that's what we are lead to believe.